Away message: I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake

What does this mean???  gah, i'm so frustrated with this guy...but what can you do, right? 

it's like you're a drug.  it's like you're a demon i can't face down.  it's like i'm stuck.  it's like i'm running from you all the time.  and i know i let you have all the power.  it's like the only company i seek is misery all around.  it's like you're a leach sucking the life from me.  it's like i can't breathe without you inside of me.  and i know i let you have all the power and i realize i'm never gonna quit you over time it's like i can't breathe.  it's like i can't see anything, nothing but you, i'm addicted to you.  it's like i can't think without you interrupting me. in my thoughts, in my dreams, you've taken over me.  it's like i'm not me.  it's like i'm lost.  it's like i'm giving up slowly. it's like you're a ghost that's haunting me.  leave me alone.  and i know these voices in my head are mine alone.  and i know i'll never change my ways if i don't give up on you now.  i'm hooked on you.  i need a fix, i can't take it just one more hit i promise i can deal with it i'll handle it, quit it just one more time, then that's it just a little bit more to get me throught this...

thanks kelly!  see you in nyc this weekend, i can't wait!

Currently Listening Breakaway By Kelly Clarkson Addicted see related

I have a friend (version 2.4)

This guy is so cool.  He's not typical.  He doesn't fit in a box.  He's not an average anything.  He is himself.  If anyone wants to learn what it's like to relax and be yourself, you should meet this friend.

I was first introduced to him at the very first Front Door of Fall 04.  He randomly came up and started talking to me and one of my friends from my dorm.  It was the strangest thing.  Honestly, I was kind of weirded out.  I didn't know what to think.  (confession--talking to strangers doesn't come naturally to me.)  But now, one year later, this guy is about to become my roommate.
He's genuine and authentic.  He's real.  He doesn't care about what others think of him, but he is confident in himself and who God created him to be.

We've had many long conversations... over coffee, over books, over lunch, and at so many random times and places, I couldn't begin to remember all of them.  He's one of the few people that has met my parents.  He's one of the few people that I've been able to let my guard down around.  (I guess the two are connected, somehow)  I can talk about absolutely anything with him, and I know that he will listen.  He's a lot like God like that.

I think it's amazing how much you can learn about God from your friends.  This is my friend, I'm proud to call him my friend.

I have a friend (version 2.2)

This is my most intersting friend.  I first met her in my honors chem class on my first day of college.  First impression?  I thought that she was absolutely crazy.  And weird.  I didn't understand her.

I kept seeing her everywhere.  A girl like this tends to stick out of a crowd.  Wherever she is, you know she is there.  It seemed that we had a lot in common.  We were both in honors and we both ended up in Chi Alpha.  Which is unusual.  There are three of us, I think.  I had no idea that I would end up spending as much time with her as I did, and honestly, the idea would have freaked me out.  But I'm so glad that was just the idea and not the reality.  In reality, she's a really cool girl.  Yeah, she is crazy.  Yeah, she is weird.  But you learn to embrace the weirdness and the craziness.  The cowboy hat becomes some strange trademark.  And that smile somehow brightens the room. 
She's happy.  No one really knows why she smiles all the time like she does, but she's full of life and energy.  I like to think that comes from God.

Thanks for being my friend.

I have a friend (version 2.1)
(warning--guy talk)

This friend is very unlike any other friend that I have.  He's someone who I admire very much.  Since I've had some trouble developing deep relationships with other guys in my past, I find that I am very honored by the fact that he calls me his friend.  More than that, too.  He really cares.  He cares when I've been broken and needy.  He cares that I can't do some things on my own.  He doesn't freak out when I cry.

This friend is a portrait of masculinity to me.  His appearance and his manners are very masculine, but his soul may not be what mainstream culture would call the manliest man soul.  But I don't think that is real masculinity.  He sees people who are wounded, and in their weakness, he says, "Let me help you be strong.  Lean on me, I'll help carry your burden."  And I think that is what Jesus does, too.  I think that's what being a real man is about.

This past spring I had a huge fight with my dad.  That realationship has always been on edge, and it finally came to a head.  It was not pretty.  It was messy.  There was some yelling, which, if you know me, is very out of character.  I was pretty upset, but I had a lot of studying to get done.  I went to Bazilia's, because I heard there were some people studying there.  I went and sat down, and almost immediately, he noticed.  He wanted to know everything, and being in the state that I was, I needed to blow off some steam.  I knew that I didn't have to put up a front with him.  I could let him know what was going on.  I could be vulnerable.

This is my friend, and I hope he comes to Auburn a lot this year.